As I sit here and think back over the last year, actually over the last several years of my life, I can't help but think about how much my life has changed, how much I have grown, and how much I have learned.
So I thought I would share a few of the things I have learned over the last few years.
1. You can't change the past. You can't fix it. You can't travel back in time and change the outcome like Marty McFly. All you can do is accept your past and learn from it. If you weren't happy with the outcome, then change the way you do things, think differently. Do anything, but what you did in the first place, because doing the same thing over and over agian and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.
2. You are who you are. Be you. Embrace and love yourself. Don't change who you are to gain acceptance from someone else. If someone doesn't love you for you, for the way you look, for your personality or your little quirks then move on. Let me clarify, no one person is going to like everything little thing about you, so if they are tolerant of your quirks or oddities keep them. However, if they want you to be a totally different person then say goodbye. We all have our quirks, but if someone wants you to change everything about you, there's a problem. Our quirks and oddities are what make us special and unique. Changing things over time to compliment a person or relationship is expected to make your relationship work, but completely being someone other than yourself is unacceptable.
3. Accept people for who they are. Don't try to change them. Our differences are what makes us so special. Embrace your partners, family, friends and coworkers as they are, if we were all the same, the world would be pretty boring. This goes along with number one, everyone has a past, you can't change their past and neither can they, so you need to accept their past as part of who they are. If you can't accept their past, then you need to move on.
4. There is always more than one way to do something. Just because it's the way you have always done it, doesn't mean there isn't a more efficient way to do something. Which leads me to #5...
5. Be open. Be open to ideas, opinions, suggestions or thoughts of others. It doesn't mean you have to change your habits, but it will give you a different perspective. You might find yourself thinking or doing things differently. Sometimes it takes someone else's thought or opinions for us to solve a problem.
6. Don't give advice that isn't requested. If you are not asked what do you think? What's your opinion/thought on the matter?? Then keep your mouth shut. Sometimes people just need someone to listen. Sometimes people just need to vent. Unsolicited advice is not always appreciated and can sometimes be viewed as an insult.
7. Not everything you see, read or hear is the truth. There are uaually always three sides to every story. For example: His, hers and the truth. The best way to find out the truth is to go straight to the source, keep in mind you are only getting one side of the story. Plus, just because you read something or someone told you something, doesn't make it true.
8. Tomorrow is never promised. Tell the ones you love and care about how you feel today, because tomorrow might never come. Show them you care. People are not mind readers. You might think you are showing your love and affection to someone, but they might not see it that way. They might need to hear it. Or maybe you tell them everyday, but they don't believe it, because the words are not backed up by actions.
9. Think. Think before you speak. Think before you take action. Think of the consequences. Think of the goals. Think of the outcome. Often times your words become your actions, so choose your words wisely. Remember, words hurt; they stick like glue. Your actions will always have a consequence, consider the consequences before making a decision. Can you handle the outcome? Is this comment, action, choice worth the result?
10. Not everyone is your friend. Just because someone tells you they are your friend or that you are their best friend doesn't make it true. A friendship is kind of like a marriage. You should be there for that person for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health and they should be there for you too. You might not always agree with their choices or decisions, but a true friend will be there at the end of the day and will probably look you dead in the eye and say I told you so, because a true friend accepts you as you are, stupid mistakes and all.
There you have it, a few of the important things I have learned over the past few years. Things I try to teach my children and even to some of my friends, things I think everyone should know to lead a successful and happy life.
